Found IT!

Yeah found a wedding dress. In less than 2 hours! I rock the house.

Worship me...

Lady Visit

My sister is visiting... YAY LADY IS HERE!

She decided to make it a surprise for my parents. I was pretty much the only one who knew about it.

She decided to fly into Philly and take the train to the closest station and call my mom to ask her to pick her up. She usually takes a red eye so that she can leave at night and be on the east coast by morning. So when she called the caller ID would say California, and it would be really early in the morning and it would make my mom panic a little.

So she left Cali thursday night and came into Philly around 6:30 in the morning. From there she would take the train to downtown Philly and transfer to the Patco into Jersey. Then she called from the station and my mom was like well you are up early. And lady said, yeah I guess. Then she said, wow tickets are more expensive than last time. And my mom was like, um ok. Then lady said, yeah train tickets, could you pick me up at the station? And my mom was like um yeah ok, where are you? Lady said W Station, could you come and get me? And my mom said "hurh???" Then she said "Is this a surprise visit?" (Mom can be slow sometimes...) And lady said um yes.

So I call my mom a few times and it's busy. Finally I get through and my like a smart ass say, "Go get your kid". My mom goes "You knew about this?" I said yup, the whole time. Then I think she called me a name..Stinker. she's a mom, what can I say.

I had to make it through a whole day of work before seeing her. It's been over a year. So we had dinner and the following day was wedding dress shopping extravaganza. woot

Wedding Expo

Ok somewhere along the line someone decided it would be a good idea to get prospective brides to come to a show of wedding vendors. I would like to meet this person and shove toothpicks under their fingernails.

Why you may ask? Because that was what it felt like to go to one.

My mother called me a week or so ago and asked if I wanted to go to one. She said there was going to be a fashion show of dresses, so I thought it could be a good thing to get some semblance of an idea of a dress. So I being a moron accepted. Then I thought about it and it started becoming a nightmarish idea.

So we went last night. It was held at a good size place that does weddings and banquets. i had actually been there years before for a Christmas party for an old job. So we walk in and it is wall to wall girly-ness. So I was completely out of my element and a tad uncomfortable. They had everything from the flowers, to limos, to tuxes. They even had a Realtor there for "your first home together" So I avoided that area since we already have a house. So we looked at a few tables filled out some cards with the promise of a drawing for vacations and whatnot. Then we found out there was an open bar! WOOT!

So moms and I decided to go for a "taste". Downstairs fully stocked wine cellar, you're my hero, my saviour.

We come up right into the bakery area and there is more free shit to eat! And the mother of all greatness A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!!!!!!! mmmmmmmm sugar coma.

Oh did I mention there was the most annoying DJ on the planet? He was one of those guys with the really annoying 50s style radio voice, that's makes you want to gag. He had a goatie that was really long and braided *shiver*. And he was handing out flashing toys and nonsense. I wanted him dead.

Then we saw it was close to fashion show time so we would sit with our booze and sweats and wait. We waited for 45 min. All the while the DJ talking and playing shit music.

The show FINALLY started and it was horrid. I mean crap dresses that were wrinkled beyond recognition and he models looked like deer in headlights. Then guy models came out in their tuxes and threw things into the crowd. Then between changes, the DJ was pulling tickets out of a hat to give away "COOL FREE STUFF" My mom and I decided if my number was pulled that we would pretend we didn't have it, that's how bad the stuff was. I mean one of the prizes was a mobile reverend, who would marry you wherever. I endures another 20 minutes or so before my mom said "wanna get out of here?"
YAY salvation, I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I fought the urge to run.

Never again. It was so evil.

The Meeting...

So the meeting was looming on the horizon. And we were talking to our backyard neighbors who said they would come to the meeting to speak for us, since he is a lawyer and does that sort of thing. And another one said he would come to because he is a well known architect in the area. So we started to feel more confident.

The architect ended up not being able to make it but he made a list of points for the variance. Which was awesome. We still had another neighbor and a possible 3rd showing up for us.

The meeting day came and we went to the municipal building It was very nerve wracking and something I don't ever want to have to do again. People piled into the room that we didn't recognize and we started to get nervous. Then the lawyer showed up and that was cool, then the suspected callers showed up, and then another neighbor showed up that we weren't sure what her stance was. There was presentation and another case before us, so we had to sit there for a while and sweat it out, which sucked. The presentation went on forever. The first case came up and was quickly thrown out because the guy was a moron and simply drew on his survey instead of getting a new one.

Then it came to our turn. The man stood up and gave over the survey and some pictures. And then the circus started. I have never seen a board of people more stupid in my life. Most of them had no clue how to read a survey and they balked that it was a year old and had our mailing address on it rather than the township address. Just a bunch of petty bullshit. They didn't understand the pictures, or the position of our garage in relation to our neighbors. It was just back and forth bullshit between the members. So the man read the list of points for the garage and they balked at 2 of them. And one woman flat out stated she wasn't going to vote for us because "it's their job to enforce the rules" blah blah blah bitch.

Then someone one the board stated that in some instances the rule can't be followed and that was the reason for the variance. YAY LOVE HIM!

So this went on for over a half hour. And they opened the floor up to whoever wanted to speak. The lawyer got up and spoke and plead the case that all the garages are like that and having to move it will put it in a horrible spot blah blah blah. Then the neighbor that we didn't know her stance stood up and spoke FOR US! YAY LOVE HER TOO! And she said that same type thing. And then callers just sat there, they didn't get up and speak against us, fuckers...

So then it came to the vote and it went back and forth and they were trying to get us to adjust what we wanted to make it so that we move it but not as much. It was like a huge standoff. So we said we would move it but not as much if that is acceptable. Then one of the board members adjusted the proposal and it came out that they suggested we move it but only half a much as required. We accepted and then they voted 6 for 3 against. SO WE WON!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKERS!

We ended up having to move the garage 3ft 2 in from the property line, only on one side. As opposed to 5ft from all property lines which would have placed the garage near the middle of the back yard.

So we left happy. And then as we were walking out, the woman who called on us came up and said "we haven't been formally introduced" AND SHOOK OUR HANDS!!!!!! The fucking nerve.

So the variance went through and we applied for permits and construction started up again on Monday.

The look on the face of the neighbor, whom I now call the cunt, when the trucks showed up was priceless.
I will put it this way, it didn't look happy.

And now they are constantly watering their lawn to keep an eye on us....