Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Wedding Expo

Ok somewhere along the line someone decided it would be a good idea to get prospective brides to come to a show of wedding vendors. I would like to meet this person and shove toothpicks under their fingernails.

Why you may ask? Because that was what it felt like to go to one.

My mother called me a week or so ago and asked if I wanted to go to one. She said there was going to be a fashion show of dresses, so I thought it could be a good thing to get some semblance of an idea of a dress. So I being a moron accepted. Then I thought about it and it started becoming a nightmarish idea.

So we went last night. It was held at a good size place that does weddings and banquets. i had actually been there years before for a Christmas party for an old job. So we walk in and it is wall to wall girly-ness. So I was completely out of my element and a tad uncomfortable. They had everything from the flowers, to limos, to tuxes. They even had a Realtor there for "your first home together" So I avoided that area since we already have a house. So we looked at a few tables filled out some cards with the promise of a drawing for vacations and whatnot. Then we found out there was an open bar! WOOT!

So moms and I decided to go for a "taste". Downstairs fully stocked wine cellar, you're my hero, my saviour.

We come up right into the bakery area and there is more free shit to eat! And the mother of all greatness A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!!!!!!! mmmmmmmm sugar coma.

Oh did I mention there was the most annoying DJ on the planet? He was one of those guys with the really annoying 50s style radio voice, that's makes you want to gag. He had a goatie that was really long and braided *shiver*. And he was handing out flashing toys and nonsense. I wanted him dead.

Then we saw it was close to fashion show time so we would sit with our booze and sweats and wait. We waited for 45 min. All the while the DJ talking and playing shit music.

The show FINALLY started and it was horrid. I mean crap dresses that were wrinkled beyond recognition and he models looked like deer in headlights. Then guy models came out in their tuxes and threw things into the crowd. Then between changes, the DJ was pulling tickets out of a hat to give away "COOL FREE STUFF" My mom and I decided if my number was pulled that we would pretend we didn't have it, that's how bad the stuff was. I mean one of the prizes was a mobile reverend, who would marry you wherever. I endures another 20 minutes or so before my mom said "wanna get out of here?"
YAY salvation, I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I fought the urge to run.

Never again. It was so evil.

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