What a moron

Did I ever tell the story of the guy who worked here for one day?

First, the backstory.

We have a web department section of our company. And we used to have a guy who worked here who was pretty smart and did all of the coding and database type stuff. Problem was, he was addicted to pain killers. So you could pretty much count on walking by his office and see him completely passed out in front of his computer. Or you would talk to him and his words were totally slurred. He bragged how he would get prescription drugs over the internet easily and would "convince" you he needed them because of his laundry list of ailments.

He had my boss totally snowed because he was the kind of double talk. So every time you went to talk to him, he would talk you in circles until you got annoyed and walked away. His coworker, with whom he shared the office, couldn't stand him and basically only talked to him when he had to.

One day he was almost fired. He came in completely stoned off his ass on whatever he was taking that day. He was stumbling through the office and just incoherent. (Oh and he drove himself to work like that.) And my boss finally had it with this behavior. My boss freaked out on him and told him he needs help and called the guys wife to come and get him. He told him not to come back. The guys wife came in and pleaded screaming at my boss saying, you know he is sick and needs help. My boss had had it and told her to get him out.

He was out for like a week. He came back more lucid and it seemed like everyone forgot about it, or just didn't talk about it.

A few months later, he gave his notice because he found another job. And we were down to one web guy.

So for months we have had only one guy working in the web department.

About 2 or 3 months ago, they started interviewing to fill the second spot. Basically because the one guy couldn't go on vacation or be sick because they wouldn't have anyone to update the sites that they host. So they found this one guy who apparently owned his own company and would come in with his clients and help build the business more.

He started coming in 2 weeks before his start date to observe what was going on here. I didn't like him from the first day I saw him. He was one of those people who stares at you when you are talking to a group of people and as soon as you look at him he looks away. He was cocky, and pushy, and very in your face. He would come into our department and basically interview us, and we don't even work in his dept. So I did as I usually do, I ignored him because he had no bearing on my work or life.

So he started work on a Monday. He came into our department with my boss to introduce himself. He said to us, when you have free time (which we almost never do) come over to the web department and we can "brainstorm". To which my boss said, um no they don't have much free time, if you want to them to work with you, you talk to me and we will schedule it in. (Shot down right out of the gate)

Then we hear him saying things like lets get rid of these file cabinets and knock out this wall to combine the departments (WTF!!?) And then we hear he had an idea to keep us from leaving for lunch, have a company lunch so we can brainstorm. (WTF?!? I am 31 yrs old and someone is going to tell me when and I take my lunch break?!) He was on his cell phone all day walking up and down the halls while he talked.
He was one of those people that comes up and says things like "how you feelin?" and he would hi five people.

So he was in meetings and on the phone all day Monday. Tuesday comes around and he is there. My boss called him into his office for a meeting. Around 10am we get an office memo email saying he is no longer with the company. LOL!

Turns out he actually had the balls to ask to see my bosses books. After working here less than a day.

We all got a huge laugh out of it.

Funny Spam

the title of my latest piece of spam is

Record Chisel Army Explosive Dress

WTF?!

Sad

Supposed to go to the Police concert tonight but it was canceled because the limey bastard got the flu.
I was really looking forward to going.

Sux

Monday Monday

Lack of posting due to a pretty boring, uneventful weekend.
I literally didn't do anything but clean. The man worked.

I finished the 6 tiles on the bathroom floor.
I need to paint trim, but I don't wanna.
I need to paint the door, but I don't wanna.

I am currently looking for fun bathroom themed bathroom pics. I have one in mind that a neighbor had outside their bathroom. It was over 20 years ago that I last saw it and I can't really remember what it was exactly. I do remember it was funny and it had a little boy peeing. My problem looking for that is if I use any of those words in a google search, I am afraid I will be hunted down for child porn.

Another one I have in mind is one I saw in a friends house. It is a animation cell from the scrubbing bubbles commercial. It is such a kewl piece for a bathroom. I would try and get one of my own but I don't want to copy my friend, especially since she does come over occasionally.

I have some post card sized images from my old house that are Anne Geddes, of babies in tubs and on stacks of towels, which are incredibly adorable but I don't know if I want to put them up. I was thinking more quirky and funny, than cute. I had this problem when I was looking for things to hang in the bathroom of my old house, there just wasn't anything that grabbed me.

I need something because the walls are bare. Even the man said we need something hanging on the walls, which was a shock cause he isn't really into that kind of thing.

So the search continues...

Airports

I had to go pick up the man from the airport last night. He got in early and didn't call me, so I was sitting on the side of the road for a half hour waiting for him to call. (I find out later his phone died, so he had to wait to get his bag to get his charger so he could call me.) So I drive up and he isn't in the middle pickup area, he's right outside the building, which I couldn't get to.

So I pull over at the baggage area cause I saw where he was an call him, and a cunt police officer tried to give me a ticket. She's waving the ticket book at me in my rear view mirror, and I open my window and I yell, I am picking someone up!! She gets all snippy and goes, where are they, and I am pointing to show her he is right behind me and she's all "well you didn't tell me". And I said why else would I pull over?

Then she says well you didn't say anything you were on the phone. I said why would I have to tell you I am picking someone up when I am in the pick up area!? Then she starts with "it's illegal to use a phone in the car". So she starts telling the man that I ignored her and told her I was on the phone. And I said how could I tell you I was on the phone with my window closed?

I was so pissed off, I almost started a fight with her, very close to calling her a cunt to her face.

Sorry for the C-word usage. It's not typical of me (even though only me will say otherwise).
It's a word I use when I REALLY mean it and when its true, like when referring to an officer.

Blood on the Bathroom Floor

I was really itching to get the bathroom floor done before the man comes home. So last night I got home from work and started the process. It was slow going because I had to make the special cuts around the trim work at the door. I got that done with a bunch of mistakes and the rest began to be smooth sailing. That is until I got to about the 8th tile. It was a straight cut pretty easy, nothing special. I measured and went to cut it with my razor knife, when apparently I slipped...

It didn't really hurt at first, so I stopped and looked at my finger. Copious amounts of blood were pouring out of the end of my finger. So immediately put my finger in my mouth and grabbed a pile of paper towels, so that I could apply pressure and put the finger over my head.

When I finally had the courage to look, I saw that I sliced off a good chunk off the tip of my finger, including a piece of the nail. Owwie.

So I saw my mom was online and I told her I was bleeding. She asked if I needed stitches, which I didn't because there wasn't anything to stitch. ( I later found the chunk on the floor.) So my mom asked if I needed help. I said, I think I may need you opinion on it. So she said, be there in a half hour. She came over with bandages and tubular gauze and finger cots to protect it.
Mom's rock!

I also texted lady, and told her. She asked if I had super glue to glue it together. To which I told her that I sliced a chunk off and there was nothing to glue. I texted, lots of blood. She answered apply pressure. Ain't doctors grand.

So I chilled for a little bit and then I got restless again and decided to try to put a few more tiles down. The pink circle is the tile where I sliced my finger. I think I put down about 10 more tiles after that. Then my sister called, so I had to stop.

So all in all it was an exciting evening. I am disappointed I couldn't finish the floor before the man comes home. He won't care, but I wanted to get it done. I have the weekend though, because he will be working. So it's all good.

oi gevalt!

I agree with Vuboq and dykewife on the whole funeral thing. I don't want to go and I think a group gift basket would be more than enough.

However, I talked to one of our sales guys and it turns out just about everyone is going to go. So I think that if only 2 or 3 people don't go that would make them look like assholes. So it seems now that everyone is going to go. So I found out that some people are actually going to go to the cemetery AND the after luncheon. Which in my opinion is completely intrusive. My main sales guy wants to go up, hit the funeral, and go back home. So that is my plan. I think it is intrusive for us all to be there in the first place, but if I am guilted into going I am leaving as soon as possible.

So that's going to be my Thursday.

Sittin Shiva

We got a mass email from our office manager today. My boss's mom died this afternoon.

I am hearing that we may all be going to the funeral. It's about an hour away and we all may car pool up there. Not sure how I feel about that. I thought we would send an office fruit basket or something.

Would you want all of your employees showing up to your mother's funeral?

Discuss...

The Old Grey Mare...

Sorry people (the 2-3 people who read this, that is) for not having much to say today.

Yesterday was my dad's birthday and all I did was go over there for dinner.

Nothing spectacular happened.

But we did have cake...mmmmm home made orange chiffon.

Identical Cousins...

Ok for some reason I had the Patty Duke Show theme song in my head.

I know how it popped into my head which is the rare thing. For some reason I was thinking about a friend of mine. This friend knows someone who is the heir to Jaqueline Susann, who wrote Valley of the Dolls. Valley of the Dolls was made into a movie that had Patty Duke in it. Whenever I think of Patty Duke the theme song pops into my head.

OMGWFTBBQ!!!!!!!

THERE'S A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN IN THE OTHER ROOM!!!!!

AND WE CAN EAT IT!!!!!

Update (4:30)
OMG warm chocolatey goodness! I am slipping into a chocolate coma

Long Tiring Weekend

This weekend was more bathroom madness.

Friday night my mom called and asked what I would be doing on Saturday, I said dentist appointment (at *gasp 8 am), bathroom stuff and errands. She said well I think I am going to come over. Apparently she was planning on being bored and wanted to help me paint the bathroom. Cool beans.

Saturday morning I went to the dentist and was informed that since I broke the tooth below the gum line I most likely will need to have it removed. *Sad* So I got a temp filing, a nifty full mouth around the head x-ray and a referral name and I was on my way. I still haven't called the oral surgeon because basically I know it will cost money and I am scared. blah

Anyhoo, mom came over around 10 and we went to Chez Depot for a few things. Then I had to hike over to the bird store because we were out of food for the "Chickens". It was the first time at the bird store for mom and she seemed to enjoy looking at all the parrots.

So back at the house I wiped the remaining wall paper paste off the walls and we commenced painting. It was cheap because I used left over paint from the living room. YAY cheapness. Well after the first coat of paint mom decided she was no longer bored and went home to hang with dad. So I decided to strip paint off of the medicine cabinet that had 4 layers of paint on it because it looked horrible.

Ugh just got interrupted with work...how rude.

While waiting for the stripper (hehe not that kind) to do it's thing, I finished the second coat of paint and fiddled around with things in the bathroom, like sanding and crap like that. Stripped the bubbled up paint off and it was such a mess began contemplating that maybe it was a bad idea. The I realized I had to patch the big giant holes in the wall that our electrician made. Basically because tile won't stick to holes. So I had to bring out the sheet rock again (pic of patched hole on left). Beyond tired on Saturday, went to bed around 10:30 because that's as late as my body could muster.

Sunday was the changing of the clocks and I still woke up at 8 a.m. Tried working out but was just too tired. All weekend I felt completely run down, but that's besides the point. I decided to make my second trip to Chez Depot of the weekend, in which I purchased, primer and white spray paint for the medicine cabinet, foam rollers and a rubber door stopper thingy so the door won't break the tile walls.

We have some tiles that fell off the wall when the electric was being done and I was trying to figure out how to either put them back, find replacements, or find another solution. So I had a piece of tile and was looking for some kind of accenty type tile. Found nothing at the depot. So I called my mom and went went to the Big Giant Tile Store Extravaganza Depot Warehouse. They have a lot of stuff so I thought I would find something. Alas the Big Giant Tile Store Extravaganza Depot Warehouse had nothing that tickled my fancy. Bastards.

So I thought maybe AC Moore or Michael's would have some kind of crafty mosaic thing I could put as an accent. Happy days! They had mosaics in a color that I could use as a complement to the horribly ugly pale yellow tile that takes up about 60% of the room. So I mosaic-ed (see left) and painted trim and tried to clean up a little bit. It isn't perfect but it was a cheap fix because we need the bathroom looking somewhat presentable by Thanksgiving when we are having approx. 15 people for dinner. So the mosaic works to cover the bare spots where tile is missing, or where there were complete holes in the wall.

So that's the bathroom fun. Can't wait until we get a little bit of money and are able to gut the bathroom. That will be so much fun. And I will be able to get new fixtures. In good time.

Spackle

Just finished sanding the spackle spots on the wall in the bathroom.
This time I taped plastic to the doorway to minimize the dust to the rest of the house, cause I iz smart.

The only problem with the sanding process is if you don't wear a respirator, and I don't cause it's for wussies, you end up with the dust turning back into spackle inside your nose. This I like to call "spackle boogies". It's rather lovely when you blow your nose and it's all white and goopy like paste.

Good times.

Urine Floor

After the kiddies stopped coming I commence ripping up the bathroom floor.

It was gross. Once I started chipping away the eroded linoleum around the toilet, the pee smell intensified.
There was no escaping it, because the area around the toilet is a rather tight area, so I had to be on my hands and knees and lay on top of the toilet to make my way around it. So it was just full on pee smell in my face for and half hour or so.

Once I cleared it all out of there, I swept the floor to get all the little dirt and pieces off the floor. I took all the crap out to the trash, and when I came back in the whole room smelled. I didn't know what to do.

So I texted lady and said, "I need to get a urine smell out of my floor". To which she replied, "you can get that stuff at pet smart". To which I replied, "Human urine". Her reply? "Um. I know there's a story behind this one but the pet smart stuff should work 2".

Hehe lady is funny. She is a doctor and dressed as Olive Oyl for Halloween at work yesterday. hehe
She texted me that she was dressed as Olive Oyl. I replied "On purpose?" hehe

Anyway back to the smell...I actually had some of pet odor remover left over from when the monkey was a puppy. So I rummaged under the sink and found it and proceeded to dowse the floor around the toilet. And then I just left it. I have to check today to see if the smell has been removed. Fingers crossed.

Halloween Revisited

It wasn't too bad. I only got 8 kids and they all actually had a costume on. However, when I was driving around the neighborhood I did see some kids with pretty lame costumes. Two girls were walking down the street with their pillowcases slightly full wearing jeans, a flannel shirt and a cowboy hat. Is that a costume?
I think not. I mean put some effort it cause it's fun and I am giving you candy.

The odd things was that I didn't get any kids until 6:45 and they stopped coming at 7. So it really wasn't tha much of a disruption and the dog only freaked out for a short period of time.