It you build it...

Ah the garage construction has commenced!!!!

B & C came on monday and started tearing shit out. Fence, plants, grass...rip the shit out!

Yesterday I left for work and the garage was standing. By lunch the whole thing was down and half the concrete was loaded into the trailer. These two are amazing! Granted the man was there to help out with the moving and the concrete demolition, but still.

By the time I got home at night, they had left with the second load of concrete. I helped load up the 3rd.
By last night I think we had about 8-9 tons of concrete and it wasn't even all gone yet.

Today they are working on the rest of the concrete, including the back block wall fence. And hopefully they will start the digging of the footings.

PROGRESS!!!!!

Found IT!

Yeah found a wedding dress. In less than 2 hours! I rock the house.

Worship me...

Lady Visit

My sister is visiting... YAY LADY IS HERE!

She decided to make it a surprise for my parents. I was pretty much the only one who knew about it.

She decided to fly into Philly and take the train to the closest station and call my mom to ask her to pick her up. She usually takes a red eye so that she can leave at night and be on the east coast by morning. So when she called the caller ID would say California, and it would be really early in the morning and it would make my mom panic a little.

So she left Cali thursday night and came into Philly around 6:30 in the morning. From there she would take the train to downtown Philly and transfer to the Patco into Jersey. Then she called from the station and my mom was like well you are up early. And lady said, yeah I guess. Then she said, wow tickets are more expensive than last time. And my mom was like, um ok. Then lady said, yeah train tickets, could you pick me up at the station? And my mom was like um yeah ok, where are you? Lady said W Station, could you come and get me? And my mom said "hurh???" Then she said "Is this a surprise visit?" (Mom can be slow sometimes...) And lady said um yes.

So I call my mom a few times and it's busy. Finally I get through and my like a smart ass say, "Go get your kid". My mom goes "You knew about this?" I said yup, the whole time. Then I think she called me a name..Stinker. she's a mom, what can I say.

I had to make it through a whole day of work before seeing her. It's been over a year. So we had dinner and the following day was wedding dress shopping extravaganza. woot

Wedding Expo

Ok somewhere along the line someone decided it would be a good idea to get prospective brides to come to a show of wedding vendors. I would like to meet this person and shove toothpicks under their fingernails.

Why you may ask? Because that was what it felt like to go to one.

My mother called me a week or so ago and asked if I wanted to go to one. She said there was going to be a fashion show of dresses, so I thought it could be a good thing to get some semblance of an idea of a dress. So I being a moron accepted. Then I thought about it and it started becoming a nightmarish idea.

So we went last night. It was held at a good size place that does weddings and banquets. i had actually been there years before for a Christmas party for an old job. So we walk in and it is wall to wall girly-ness. So I was completely out of my element and a tad uncomfortable. They had everything from the flowers, to limos, to tuxes. They even had a Realtor there for "your first home together" So I avoided that area since we already have a house. So we looked at a few tables filled out some cards with the promise of a drawing for vacations and whatnot. Then we found out there was an open bar! WOOT!

So moms and I decided to go for a "taste". Downstairs fully stocked wine cellar, you're my hero, my saviour.

We come up right into the bakery area and there is more free shit to eat! And the mother of all greatness A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!!!!!!! mmmmmmmm sugar coma.

Oh did I mention there was the most annoying DJ on the planet? He was one of those guys with the really annoying 50s style radio voice, that's makes you want to gag. He had a goatie that was really long and braided *shiver*. And he was handing out flashing toys and nonsense. I wanted him dead.

Then we saw it was close to fashion show time so we would sit with our booze and sweats and wait. We waited for 45 min. All the while the DJ talking and playing shit music.

The show FINALLY started and it was horrid. I mean crap dresses that were wrinkled beyond recognition and he models looked like deer in headlights. Then guy models came out in their tuxes and threw things into the crowd. Then between changes, the DJ was pulling tickets out of a hat to give away "COOL FREE STUFF" My mom and I decided if my number was pulled that we would pretend we didn't have it, that's how bad the stuff was. I mean one of the prizes was a mobile reverend, who would marry you wherever. I endures another 20 minutes or so before my mom said "wanna get out of here?"
YAY salvation, I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I fought the urge to run.

Never again. It was so evil.

The Meeting...

So the meeting was looming on the horizon. And we were talking to our backyard neighbors who said they would come to the meeting to speak for us, since he is a lawyer and does that sort of thing. And another one said he would come to because he is a well known architect in the area. So we started to feel more confident.

The architect ended up not being able to make it but he made a list of points for the variance. Which was awesome. We still had another neighbor and a possible 3rd showing up for us.

The meeting day came and we went to the municipal building It was very nerve wracking and something I don't ever want to have to do again. People piled into the room that we didn't recognize and we started to get nervous. Then the lawyer showed up and that was cool, then the suspected callers showed up, and then another neighbor showed up that we weren't sure what her stance was. There was presentation and another case before us, so we had to sit there for a while and sweat it out, which sucked. The presentation went on forever. The first case came up and was quickly thrown out because the guy was a moron and simply drew on his survey instead of getting a new one.

Then it came to our turn. The man stood up and gave over the survey and some pictures. And then the circus started. I have never seen a board of people more stupid in my life. Most of them had no clue how to read a survey and they balked that it was a year old and had our mailing address on it rather than the township address. Just a bunch of petty bullshit. They didn't understand the pictures, or the position of our garage in relation to our neighbors. It was just back and forth bullshit between the members. So the man read the list of points for the garage and they balked at 2 of them. And one woman flat out stated she wasn't going to vote for us because "it's their job to enforce the rules" blah blah blah bitch.

Then someone one the board stated that in some instances the rule can't be followed and that was the reason for the variance. YAY LOVE HIM!

So this went on for over a half hour. And they opened the floor up to whoever wanted to speak. The lawyer got up and spoke and plead the case that all the garages are like that and having to move it will put it in a horrible spot blah blah blah. Then the neighbor that we didn't know her stance stood up and spoke FOR US! YAY LOVE HER TOO! And she said that same type thing. And then callers just sat there, they didn't get up and speak against us, fuckers...

So then it came to the vote and it went back and forth and they were trying to get us to adjust what we wanted to make it so that we move it but not as much. It was like a huge standoff. So we said we would move it but not as much if that is acceptable. Then one of the board members adjusted the proposal and it came out that they suggested we move it but only half a much as required. We accepted and then they voted 6 for 3 against. SO WE WON!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKERS!

We ended up having to move the garage 3ft 2 in from the property line, only on one side. As opposed to 5ft from all property lines which would have placed the garage near the middle of the back yard.

So we left happy. And then as we were walking out, the woman who called on us came up and said "we haven't been formally introduced" AND SHOOK OUR HANDS!!!!!! The fucking nerve.

So the variance went through and we applied for permits and construction started up again on Monday.

The look on the face of the neighbor, whom I now call the cunt, when the trucks showed up was priceless.
I will put it this way, it didn't look happy.

And now they are constantly watering their lawn to keep an eye on us....

A Varience....

So the man goes to the municiple office to talk to the inspector, who is still pissed off about the whole thing. We find out that the neighbor who called apparently called many times and he was trying to blow them off. But they were insistent that he do something about it.

Then he started giving the man a rash of shit about how he should fine us, and what we did was illegal. And once the building is down it no longer exists. And how what we did voided our home owners insurance. And how variences rarely go through because it is like asking them to overlook the laws and let us in a sense break the law. blah blah blah...asshole!

So we find out that we have to go to the zoning board to get the variance. The office is down the hall, so the man takes a walk. The zoning board woman, is the BEST PERSON EVER!!!!! She was going to sign off on the whole thing right then and there and let us build the garage because she knows that the garages in our neighborhood all sit on the property line and there is really nothing you can do about it. And moving it is a royal pain in the ass and it's expensive. So she wrote a letter allowing the variance and sends it to the inspector. Who threw a shit fit. Little bastard...

So she calls the man and tells him that the inspector is making us go through the whole board meeting process even though she has authority over him. But WHATEVER!

So she prints out a letter that we have to leave at the door of all the neighbors in a 200ft radius and even prints the letter out for us. Has us put an ad in the paper, cause it has to be made public record. So we had the letters out and wait for the meeting, which thankfully was only 2 weeks away.

In the meantime we start to do some investigating to find out who called. We had our suspicions because the neighbor across the street kept coming over to "see what we were doing". And they kept making comments to the effect of "I didn't know you could do that" and "I hope they don't make you tear it down".
Cause comments like that wouldn't put any suspicion on you would it? Fuckers...

We come to find out that they tried to expand their garage and were turned down 3 times. Like that is my problem. And they are the first ones to call the cops on people on the street. Then I find out that the guy who lives there likes to roam around the other neighbors yards to see what is going on, especially when construction is going on.

So during the waiting period for the meeting, they suddenly aren't outside working on their yard anymore. Suddenly they are scarce. Hmm odd behavior isn't it?

We talked to other neighbors and they suspected them as well. We started to get concerned about someone showing up to the meeting to say something against our garage. Everyone seemed to think that they wouldn't show up because we would know it was them for sure. So we thought that would be the case.

to be continued

A puddle in the sun...

Ok it's the nephews birthday today. And yes it will be around 98 degrees today.
Oh and did I mention the party is mostly outside?

Kill me.


Update
Ok it was like a bajillion degrees outside. I literally sweated through my clothes and just dripped down my legs all day. It was so hot I didn't even drink my alcohol because I would have been death of dehydration.
I vote for no more summer parties outside, fuck the pool.

Garage Woes...

Yes it's been a while, stop whining.

A bunch of crap has been going on lately.

We decided that when we sold my house we would use the money to pay off the second mortgage and rebuild our garage. The garage that we had was a completely dilapidated, termite infested cesspool that had been falling down for years. It literally had holes in the roof and the walls were rotting to the point that you could push on it and poke a hole through it. So we couldn't even use it for basic storage because it wasn't even rain proof.

So we were told by neighbors that if we rebuilt it wall by wall, we wouldn't need a permit. We talked to just about everyone whose properties touched ours and no one had a problem with it. They all gave their blessing and said thank god you are getting rid of that eye sore.

So the plan was to take it down wall by wall and rebuild. We enlisted the man's aunt and uncle (B & C) and they proceeded to start demolition. Well the wall by wall thing didn't really go as planned. The whole thing was so rotted out that as the walls were coming down, the roof started to come down with it. It literally just kind of fell down. So B & C cleared everything away and rebuilt the thing as fast as they could.

3 days before completion, the inspector shows up. And he was a tad miffed. He walked around the yard and went off on B & C and the man's dad, who just happened to be there that day. He told us we had a week to tear it down and if it wasn't down he would fine B&C and the man's dad 2 thousand each for every week it was still up.

So B & C got the roof off and the man contacted the Inspectors office. This is when we find out that a neighbor called and turned us in for having no permits. &!*&@^#

The inspectors office tells us that we have to contact the zoning board about the garage because the garage is sitting on the property line. So in order to keep it where it is we have to get a variance. Which involves scheduling a meeting with the board. And notifying all neighbors in a 200 ft radius of the meeting, so that they can come and voice their objections. So this put the whole garage on hold for over a month.

to be continued...

Sad

Went to a funeral today. Second one of the year.

It was my cousin. He had diabetes. Apparently what happened was he had the flu. So he couldn't keep any food down and that made his already crazy blood sugar worse and he slipped into a coma. They aren't sure how long he was in a coma before they found him, because he lived alone.

So he was in a coma for 5 or 6 months and he just deteriorated. He kept getting infections and my aunt finally decided to tell them to not treat them anymore. He was brain dead and not getting any better and they were only prolonging his suffering at that point. So I think it was a good choice, because he wouldn't have turned around had they treated the infection.

They had the funeral blanket pulled all the way up to his chest because his arms had started to curl into a fetal position during the coma. I don't like to walk up to the body at a funeral, there is something about it that just doesn't feel right to me. I only did it once at a child's funeral and it was the worst experience I have ever had. Seeing from across the room works for me.

Sorry to bring down the mood...

Planet Unicorn

A friend of mine sent me an text message the other day that simply said Planet Unicorn, youtube. I was intrigued but nowhere near a computer...the horror!

So Tuesday I am sitting at work, bored of my mind, and he calls and says "did you get my text?" I hadn't, so he told me to look immediately. Being the well behaved employee that I am I went to youtube to watch the most hilarious cartoon.

It is so wrong, yet freakin hilarious. And now I have the theme song in my head.

heyyyy

Dear Lord

Yesterday while driving by my neighborhood Walgreens I saw a sign flash up on the led screen saying they now carry Alli.
Upon seeing the sign I asked the man, "What the hell is Alli?"
To which he replied, "I dunno a cat?" (he didn't see the sign and is prone to make silly comments of this nature)
I said, "Well Walgreens carries it now, apparently." And that was that.

Just today while paging through MSNBC I see an article titled "New Diet Drug: Accidents May Happen". Intrigued and unbearably bored I clicked the link and get hit with the subtitle "The Word Is "Leakage"!!!!! Much to my disgust...oh who are we kidding, amusement, I find that there is this new OTC drug called Alli and when taken can cause ANAL LEAKAGE!!!!!!

Who are these diet drug people and why do they think this is an ok side effect? It seems when you take it, if you exceed 15g of fat per meal leakage can occur. They interview a bunch of people in the article and they have no problem with this?

What has the world come to when essentially being reduced to a diaper is an ok side effect for weight loss?

Oh the humanity!!!

that's all I can stomach.

Friday Blahs

Work was so slow I didn't know what to do with myself. And anything I had to work on was completely boring.

Now I am home waiting for the man to finish work and I am bored out of my mind.

Even the dog looks bored!

At least the birds aren't screaming...yet.

That's all for now.

Grad Party

There is nothing like going to a grad party when it's 95 degrees and the air conditioning inside can't keep up with it.

In other words sweat soaked through clothing after about 3 hours.

I couldn't even drink because I needed to replace fluids for fear of dehydration.

Now I am just REALLY thirsty and have no desire to do anything.

ugh

YAY!

I JUST TALKED TO LADY!!!!!!

ok i am better now

Hot!

took the dog for a walk. came in and she collapsed on the floor panting.

yup it's hot out.


you definitely have an issue with birds when they learn to say "why are you screaming?"

that's all I'm sayin...