Confuzzled

I have been wondering this for some time.
And it just makes me think of it every time I see a commercial for it.

What the hell is "performance fleece"?
Why is it called that?
What does it perform? Cause if it's performance it to make me warm, that's just moronic.
Do I have to perform in it? Cause I don't wanna.
If it does perform some kind of task, can it do my taxes?

Also confusing to me...metallic jeans.

Does this mean I am getting old or that marketing it becoming really retarded?

(and I know your answer before you comment so, SUCK IT PRINCESS, you know who you are)